Open Letter to Jennifer Aniston

As some of you may know, we hate John Mayer. Turns out he is using Jennifer Aniston as a beard while doing Pete Wentz. Now there are reports that they may be getting married and having a child together.

Which begs the questions "Jen, what the fuck are you thinking?!" Ok, I understand that Angelina stole your hubby and you're never gonna get over it. I mean, how do you get over Brad Pitt? I don't think you can. Now you're (possibly) doing this homo, gonna marry him, and have his child? Come on. John Mayer is much lower on the scale than Brad. Go for George Clooney, he'd love you. Have some standards Jen. Even Vince Vaughn was better. At least he was your age. At least he was funny. What does John Mayer have going for him? Penises up his ass? Seriously Jen, I hope this isn't true. I know there are reports denying this, but let's face it, you're never honest with the press.

John Mayer sucks!!